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5/25/24
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Moment 163: Happiness Expert Reveals The One Type Of Person You Should NEVER Date

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

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- A common mistake in the dating market is searching for a partner who mirrors oneself, leading to dissatisfaction. Dating apps often fail because they match people with similar preferences, resulting in relationships that lack intrigue and complementary differences.

- Happy relationships typically involve partners who complement rather than mirror each other. Successful marriages often feature pairs with different personality traits, like an introvert and an extrovert, who celebrate their differences and do not try to change each other.

- Falling in love triggers complex neurochemical processes in the brain similar to those seen in drug addiction. This includes increased levels of dopamine and noradrenaline, which create feelings of euphoria, and decreased serotonin levels, which lead to obsessive thoughts and jealousy.

- Jealousy has evolutionary roots tied to reproductive success. Men and women experience jealousy differently due to evolutionary pressures: men worry about sexual infidelity, while women are more concerned about emotional infidelity and resource diversion.

- The initial stages of love are often marked by negative emotions such as jealousy and obsessive behaviors. These are part of an evolutionary mechanism to ensure partner fidelity, which contrasts with the common perception that being in love is synonymous with happiness.

- Long-term attachment in relationships relies on the release of oxytocin, a neuropeptide that fosters deep emotional bonds. This phase solidifies the relationship, making it harder to detach, similar to the attachment seen in addiction.

- Altruistic behaviors, such as volunteering and random acts of kindness, can increase happiness more effectively than self-care. People who help others often experience a significant mood boost and enhanced feelings of empowerment and purpose.

- The paradox of being in love is that the neurochemical changes involved, like increased dopamine and decreased serotonin, can lead to infatuation and obsessive thoughts that don't necessarily correlate with happiness. True long-term happiness in relationships stems from mutual support and understanding, leading to the release of oxytocin-based bonds.